Equipment on fire

OTTAWA, Ontario – Canada’s Minister of Environment and Climate Change, Stephan Gayboate, recently, and retroactively, announced the formation of a crown corporation that is currently enforcing the environmental compliance of oil and gas operations across the 4 western-most provinces. Despite being a federal crown corporation, the new outfit has jurisdiction only in BC, AB, SK, and MB. The organization, which is aptly named GFY Enviro Services, has the mandate to traverse the 3 western provinces to identify any operations that are not in compliance with Energy Canada’s regulations, write them up, and shut them down.

Environment Minister Stephan Gayboate

“Have you ever seen the environmental disaster that is the oil and gas industry out in the wild west? Just to be very clear, the federal government fully supports the oil and gas industry, but we also support the environment and we will no longer tolerate environmental non-compliance around spills, atmospheric venting of noxious gases, and the like. GFY has been active for only a few weeks and already they have shut-down 1,287 sites in MB alone!” – Minister Gayboate

According to Calgary-based oil and gas analyst, Mike Rothburns, GFY plans to start from the south-east most corner of oil and gas operations in Manitoba, and gradually and systematically work its way to the NE-most corner of oil and gas operations in British Columbia. “These guys are no joke. So far, they have pretty much shut down about 77% of the production coming out of Manitoba”, Mike told 2P News this morning.

Wilma Dicfit, field superintendent for Winnipeg-based Tumble Weed Resources, recounts a visit from GFY to her Virden 10-34 oil battery.

Wilma Dicfit, field superintendent, Tumble Weed Resources

“So I’m sitting in my field truck taking a break, and all of the sudden I see a convoy of 3 GMC Denali pickup trucks followed by 2 cement trucks roll up to the field office. These guys get out, identify themselves, say why they are there, and then take off for about 20 mins. They come back to me with 3 fines and 17 cease operation orders. I’m like, WTF?”

Ms. Dicfit went on to say that one of the fines was for an oil spill exceeding 1,000 picolitres. After being brought to the site of the spill, she could see a small puddle of what appeared to smell like a combination of used 10W30 motor oil and used cooking grease, with a trail leading back to the bed of one of the GFY field trucks. What’s more is that the spill was nowhere near any equipment, pipeline, or thanks. When she challenged them on it, she was told to, “stop asking questions.” Another alleged infraction was an episode of uncontrolled release of H2S to the atmosphere. Well, according to Ms. Dicfit, one of the inspectors passed wind, the other smelled it and identified it as a non-compliant environmental release. The 3rd fine was written up for a part of the facility that was on fire, but this just turned out to be the flame at the end of the flare stack. Before leaving, the GFY crew had called for an emergency shut-down of the battery and they dumped cement down each of the wells feeding into it.

Calgary-based Oil and Gas Producers of Western Canada (OGPWC) has taken exception to GFY Enviro Services and their mandate, and the organization is writing letters to Minister Gayboate to consider ceasing the plan. When asked to comment on the situation, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau just said, “Hey, GFY Enviro Services is just trying to help out and tidy things up a little bit. If you guys out west don’t like GFY, then you just wait until we create and send GTFO Energy Regulators your way. Cut me some slack – all I’m trying to do is finish what my old man started back in the 80s. Assholes.



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here