Security camera footage of the fight
Security camera footage of the fight

CALGARY, Alberta – A disturbance in the Plus-15 walkway has landed 2 senior Landmen in jail and quite possibly out of work.

A discussion at a local coffee shop turned into what was described by witnesses as a shouting match, which escalated to blows and screaming.  Although there were no serious injuries, the damage to the cafe was significant, and there was a moderate amount of blood spilled by the two men when their noses were apparently broken.


John gerting
John Gerting, not happy

I was ordering my double pressed Columbian venti when I heard the guys start yelling, it was odd, but then the short guy cocked back and drove the skinny guy, it was AWESOME! (giggles), I’ve never seen anyone get hit that hard by someone that small before.  Then they just started swinging, tables tossed, coffee everywhere, one girl got smacked by accident, friggin hilarious! – John Gerting, EIT

Police have not disclosed what the argument may have been about, but 2P News has learned that they were employed by competing energy companies, and were married to sisters.  Eye witnesses reported hearing key words and phrases throughout the yelling match including, ‘Cheaterson deal‘, ‘vacation’, ‘3 weeks in Denver‘, ‘who’s wife‘, ‘I’ll drill you!‘, “Drill THIS asshole!” ‘that’s bullshit, you’re a liar“, and ‘whore’.   The employer for one of the men, who prefers not to be quoted, stated that its landman was amiable at the office, and no harsh words had ever been noted.

Our employees have to be pure professionals.  He’s been given a leave with pay to cool off, and we will meet with him after that and discuss the continuation of his employment.  A company such as ours cannot be seen to be weak or unrefined. – Dèng Xiǎopíng Dòngbīn, CEO of Bendovus Energy

With rumors abound about the nature of this fight, the rumor mill has been shaking with news of a huge land sale on the horizon that may end Bendovus’ freehold reign of terror on the majority of its lands.  Charges are pending against both men while police sort out what exactly happened.


  1. Hahaha, you guys are idiots. I would love to see a scrap like this in the +15 here in downtown Calgary. Bendovus… haha.

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