Canadian Money Trees being 'watered' using tree bags, but these bags will be filled with crude oil, not water.

Ottawa, Ontario – With the federal budget released, there was much criticism of the spending seen over the last few years.  While not altogether surprised by the opposition, it seems that common sense has completely evaded the Prime Minister and his Finance Minister.  When twitter user DarkHandedAngel tweeted a budget response that “money doesn’t grow on trees,” it seems the Liberals have taken it to heart.

In a plan announced this morning, the Liberals have pledged to spend another $2,000,000,000 watering Money Trees.  Yes, thats correct.  Money Trees.  And to further add to the insanity, when a Conservative MP joked about them “using oil since it was worth less than water these days,” they added that little gem to the project too.  So here we are, in 2021, with a drama teacher at the helm, with a plan to water Money Trees with crude oil this summer.

Incredibly, federal opposition parties are reeling and thus far have not even objected to the project.  While several have been hospitalized for intense laughter, many others simply paused in disbelief during the Zoom announcement.  Mouths agape in silence while they waited for the punchline that never came.  Just awkward silence from the front steps of Rideau Hall.

While many hope that the Liberals have simply misplaced their calendars during lockdown and didn’t realize April’s Fools has past, it may not be the case.  It seems that contracts for the fluid haulers and recommissioned fire trucks to deliver the “growth fluid” has been tendered on several government sites.  While no information on which corporations are bidding on the work, it’s likely it will be entered out of Quebec and Ontario.  Maybe Bombardier will partner with Air Canada to water trees from the air like forest fire water tankers?


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