DEATH VALLEY, California – Spectral Resources of Furnace Creek, California has revealed that its extraordinary success rate for wildcat wells is due to the company’s use of a ghost detector. Since the company began using the device they have achieved a 92% success rate. Thanks to the sterling reputation of myself and 2P News I was able to arrange a meeting with an official of Spectral.
Mr. Casper Geist, Vice-President of Exploration of Spectral gave some background for their device. He said, “Few people know this but the movie Ghostbusters is based on a real group of scientists. One of their accomplishments was the invention of a super high frequency magnetochromic radiation detector. This reveals the presence of ghosts. The person most responsible for inventing the detector, Prof. Hans Wahnsinnig, unfortunately died in a car crash and knowledge of how it works and the prototype were lost with him. That is, until his laboratory notebook was found by my son, Casper Junior, in a dumpster behind the university he attends. He built a new prototype with more modern electronics and successfully tested it, but being as mercenary as I am he was at a loss as to any commercial use.
“This is when serendipity came in. He was showing me how the device works while visiting me at a wellsite and the readings were off the scale. The well found oil. Casper Junior joked that maybe the device was an oil detector rather than a ghost detector. It’s not the craziest idea I’ve ever heard in the oil business so we ran a series of tests but they were inconclusive. I speculated that maybe we should try to determine the type of ghost. That’s when we hit the jackpot. We found out that the ghosts of dead geologists like to hang out where there’s undiscovered oil, something they could never do when they were alive. How we are able to identify those particular ghosts is proprietary but it has to do with the fact that they whine rather than moan.
“The reason we haven’t patented the device and started selling it is that the Chinese would immediately steal it and flood the world with cheap replicas. Besides, we’re making out like bandits drilling our own wells. We may start a service validating other companies’ prospects in return for a carried working interest.”